Blow it Up
Word up! You cannot have a wild ass party without balloons. Think about it- little kids have balloons at their parties and they lose all control. If you want the kind of awesome occasion where your best friend face plants in a ball pit and someone’s sister-in-law ends up with her hair all ratty and ice cream on her face yelling it’s her turn at “Pin the Torpedo on the Sailor” then you are going to need some balloons.
That said, you can’t just do run of the mill plain balloons. You’re no quitter. You need to either hook it up with penis balloons or f-bombs or you need to get some sharpies and get ready for some dank DIY balloon blowing and decorating.
Chippendales Tip: Invest in a small helium tank, especially if you get truly wonderful and go with penis balloons. Turns out a lot of grocery stores refuse to fill naughty balloons (not cool Gelson’s) and party stores charge an awful lot of money for some hot air. Another tip on filling penis balloons… stretch them out A LOT. Otherwise you end up with one ball bursting before you’ve filled the shaft. Also, film filling these balloons and send your videos to us for a chance to win awesome prizes.
For your DIY party balloon ideas, check this out.